Descriptive Writing Describing an Event Week of September 15-19 Alexis A Fruia 6th Grade English

Objectives

� Understand the content and form of a descriptive essay.

� Plan, draft, revise, edit, and publish a descriptive essay.

Descriptive Essay

� One kind of descriptive essay describes an event by focusing on the important actions or on one particularly exciting part.

When you write a descriptive essay, these questions can help you. � Observations: What did you see, hear,

and smell? �  Impact: What details will stay with you

long after the event is over? � The 5 Ws: How would you answer the

Who? What? Where? When? and why? Questions about the event?

Writing Guidelines

�  Subject: An Event � Purpose: To inform by clearly describing

an animal �  Form: Descriptive essay � Audience: Classmates

“The Watcher in the Water” � What details in the beginning help show the

focus of the essay? ( big, olive green) � What are some of the sensory words that

are used in the middle part? (slimy, sticky, “rom-rom-rom,” loud and deep) �  In the ending, what action verbs does the

writer use that show us how the encounter with the bullfrog concludes?

( twitched, leapt, twisted, pushed, listened)

Descriptive Essay Structure

� Beginning: The beginning introduces the animal being described to show the focus of the essay.

� Middle: the middle uses sensory word and phrases, Each description focuses the reader on the bullfrog and its surroundings.

� Ending: The ending tells how the writer’s encounters with the bullfrog concludes.

Respond to Reading

� Focus and Coherence -What experience does the writer share? -Seeing the Bullfrog in the river. -What details focus the reader on the bullfrog and its surrounding? -The writer uses details that describe how the bullfrog looks, sounds, and moves, and details that describe how the river and riverbank looked and felt.

Respond to Reading

� Organization -  How is the essay organized- by order of

importance, by location, or by other order of importance and location?

-  The event is described by both time and location. The writer describes where the bullfrog is in relation to the river the writer also uses location to describe the event

Respond to Reading

� Voice -  What words show that the writer is

interested in the subject? -  I listened carefully -  I watched -  I looked

Prewriting Selecting a Topic � Think about animals you are familiar with,

such as dogs, cats, squirrels, and birds. � Remember!!! It is easier to describe

something that you have observed in everyday life than something that you have only read about.

Topic Chart Animal _______________________________ Tiger Salmon Peacock Blue Jay Hunting Dog House Cat

Descriptive Action _______________________________ Stalks prey Swims upstream to spawn Roams around the zoo Watches over a bird feeder Retrieves a duck Curls up to sleep

Create a Topic Chart. In the first column, list different animals that you would like to write about. In the second column, list an action or event related to each animal, When you complete your charm select on animal for your essay.

Gathering Details �  As you plan your draft, you will need to gather details that develop

your thesis, or main idea, and keep you focused on your topic. Throughout the essay. One way to do this is to analyze, or think carefully about your topic.

Answer the following questions to analyze your topic. -  What does the animal look like? ( describe it from top to bottom

or from front to back.) -  What do I see, hear, smell or feel when I see or think about this

animal in action? -  What is the animal similar to and different from? -  What are its strengths and weaknesses?

Organizing your Details �  When writing about an animal, you may use two different

organizational strategies in your essay- order of importance and order of location.

�  Order of Importance- (least important to most important; most important to least important): You will use this method of organization to describe an event. The writer of the essay told about he bullfrog using order of importance.

�  Order of Location- (Top to bottom, from front to back): You may also use this method if part of your essay describes the animal in detail.

List 1.  See the enormous peacock 2.  Roamed around the entrance 3.  Spread its huge tail feathers 4.  Peacocks dance around each other 5.  Tail feathers look like eyes

Organizing your Details �  Imagine you are a filmmaker crating a move that shows an animal in its

habitat. Decide what organizational strategy is best. Use the strategy to list details of scenes you will show your audience.

Using Figures of Speech You can use figures of speech to make your descriptive writing clearer and more creative. Two common figures of speech are similes and metaphors. They both create special word pictures. -A simile compares two different thing using like or as EX: The owl swiveled its head from side to side like a security camera. -  A metaphor compares two different things without using like

or as. EX: The bullfrog was a stone, sitting completely still. TRY IT!! Write a simile or a metaphor about your animal in action. If you like how either one turns out, include it in your essay

FYI

� Time order is also called chronological order. Point our that writers often use transition words to phrases like first, next, last week, and next month to show the order of events.

�  If you choose order of location to describe an event, you might use words or phrases like next to, before, above, or below.

Drafting �  Starting you Descriptive Essay �  The beginning paragraph should introduce

the topic in a focused way. This tells your reader what your essay is about and keeps it organized. Here are two approaches to writing a focused and exciting beginning.

�  Remember- You should start an essay by placing yourself in the scene or by observing the scene, you should use vivid details that bring the scene to life.

Beginning Paragraph

� Discuss what the subject is in the first sentence of each beginning ( the narrator , the peacock), and discuss what this change in point of view does to the beginning.

Beginning Paragraph

� Put yourself in the description. Tell where you were, what you were doing, or how you felt.

�  * The writer makes a personal connection.* When I was younger, we visited the zoo on Sunday afternoons. An enormous mean peacock always roamed around near the main entrance. I imagined that it was a multicolored, screaming monster waiting to attack. It terrified me.

Beginning Paragraph

� Observe the Scene. Focus your description on the animal, and not on your personal connection with it. Be sure that all of your details relate to the topic to keep the paragraph coherent.

�  * The writer focuses on the animal. * The peacock at the local zoo was enormous and mean. It always roamed around near the main entrance. To some of the younger kids, it wasn’t just a bird, it was a multicolored screaming monster.

Using an Engaging Voice � Voice is the special way that a writer

expresses his or her ideas. A writer’s voice engages the reader and keeps this connection throughout the essay. Keep the following tips about voice I mind as you write.

�  - Use a natural, sincere voice and show your enthusiasm.

�  -Share descriptive details as if you were having a conversation.

Drafting

� Write your beginning paragraph. Choose one of the approaches above to draft a focused, organized, and coherent beginning paragraph. Try different strategies until you are pleased with your result.

Drafting

� Developing the middle Part �  In them middle paragraphs of your essay,

you should build on ideas to create a clear, focused mental picture of your animal. By using sensory details and sharing feelings, you show the reader what happened in a creative way. Use the organization list strategies from Pg. 79 to help you.

 

I remember the peacock jumping in front of me as I walked with my father, My first impression was that if was taller than I was. A flurry of blue and green swan in front of me as it bobbed back and forth. I thought it was a hundred little eyes on is back but later realized it was just a pattern on its brightly colored tail feathers. The peacock opened it tiny pointy beak. I expected a sweet little chirp. Instead I was shocked by it high-pitched scream. I was definitely afraid, but something made me want to get a closer look. When my class visited the zoo a few weeks later I set out to find the peacock again. I hid a safe distance away, I could clearly see these eye-shaped marks on is feathers. They were surrounded by what looked like grass. The colors of green, blue, orange, and gold were so bright they almost sparked. I noticed that the peacock had feathers standing on top of its head. It seemed to be wearing a fancy hat. Those little feathers bounced as it danced and bobbed at a anyone who dared to walk to close. I spent the whole field trip watching the peacock and hoping it would not see me.

Drafting � Write you middle paragraphs. Use sensory

details and feeling to create a focused, well-organized, coherent picture for your reader. Try to describe one main scene in each paragraph.

�  !!!!!!HELP!!!!! �  If you have difficulty writing the middle part

of your essay, sketch two or three different scenes in which your animal might be found. This will help you gather details for each paragraph.

Drafting �  Ending your Essay �  Your ending paragraph should bring your essay to a close and give

your reader a sense of completeness. Try to say something to keep the reader thinking about your animal.

�  Ending Paragraph �  The writer makes a final personal connection.

Most people think that peacocks are beautiful, gentle birds. I agree that they are beautiful, but peacocks don’t seem so gentle to me. I have heard their awful, Screechy cries. I have seen those spooky tail feather eyes that appear to follow my every move. That why I chose to watch the peacock from a distance!

Drafting

� Write your ending paragraph. When you write your ending, be sure to stay focused on your topic. Make a final comment or tell about an event to help the readers remember the animal.

Revising and Editing �  A first draft can always be improved. You may need to

make a detail clearer and more focused or reorganize ideas to ensure coherence.

�  Focus and Coherence: Do I have a clear topic? Do I stay focused and coherent throughout the whole essay?

�  Organization: Do I organize the details in the order of their importance? Do I tell about my animal using order to location?

�  Development of Ideas: Do I use sensory words and feelings to tell about my animal and its environment?

�  Voice: Do I sound interested in my topic?