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4/11/18 1 Flirting – behaviors that people use to signal attraction to one another Eye-lock ¡ One of the classic staples of flirting is locking eyes ¢ Gets other’s attention and shows your desire ¡ Marked by an unflinching gaze, with no over smiling or talking In studies, opposite-sex pairs told to silently look into each other’s eyes ¡ E.g., Mock ESP study When participants gazed at each other for 2 minutes (compared to control group)… ¡ They rated their partner as more attractive ¡ They expressed greater desire to date them When people look into another person’s eyes, feel-good neurotrans- mitters are released ¡ Dopamine ¢ Drives feeling of desire, attraction and motivation ¡ Oxytocin ¢ Drives feeling of emotional bonding and desire to protect

PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

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Page 1: PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

4/11/18

1

� Flirting – behaviors that people use to signal attraction to one another

� Eye-lock

¡ One of the classic staples of flirting is locking eyes

¢ Gets other’s attention and shows your desire

¡ Marked by an unflinching gaze, with no over smiling or talking

� In studies, opposite-sex pairs told to silently look into each other’s eyes

¡ E.g., Mock ESP study

� When participants gazed at each other for 2 minutes (compared to control group)…

¡ They rated their partner as more attractive

¡ They expressed greater desire to date them

� When people look into another person’s eyes, feel-good neurotrans-mitters are released

¡ Dopamine¢ Drives feeling of desire,

attraction and motivation

¡ Oxytocin¢ Drives feeling of

emotional bonding and desire to protect

Page 2: PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

4/11/18

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� Flirting – behaviors that people use to signal attraction to one another

� How do woman and men flirt differently?

¡ Left side of class: How do women flirt?

¡ Right side of class: How do men flirt?

� Psychologists have carefully recorded flirting behavior in naturalistic settings (bars, dates)

¡ Same methods used to study mating in apes

� How do women flirt?

¡ Starts with mutual gazing¢ Often with head tilted

slightly downward

¡ Women then show off their hair¢ Tossing head side-to-side,

brushing it, twirling it

¡ As time goes on, self- and other-touching increases¢ Touching shoulders/ knees,

“accidentally” brushing up against the other person

Page 3: PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

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� How do men flirt?¡ Men glance at women to see if any reciprocate

their gaze¢ Known as a “prowl scan”

� How do men flirt?¡ After mutual gazing is

established, men change their behavior to appear more dominant¢ Spreading out arms/legs

to appear bigger

¢ Tilting head upward

¢ Physically dominating other men� E.g., slapping shoulders,

putting arm on the back of another guy’s chair

� How do men flirt?¡ All the while, continually checking to see if the

desired partner is paying attention¢ Men average 10 mutual glances before approaching

Page 4: PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

4/11/18

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Hi there� How do apes flirt?

¡ Starts with prowl scan

¡ Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach

¡ Female assumes a demure posture

¢ Head tilted down

¡ Male assumes large, dominant posture

¢ Harms and legs spread wide

� How do apes flirt?

¡ Starts with prowl scan

¢ Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach

¡ Female assumes a demure posture

¢ Head tilted down

¡ Male assumes large, dominant posture

¢ Harms and legs spread wide

Hi there

� How do apes flirt?

¡ Male then initiate rough play and dominate other males

¢ All the while checking to see if female is looking

¡ Once contact is made, male may initiate subtle, “accidental” contact

¢ To see if female reciprocates

Page 5: PSY145 - 16 Love and Communication · How do apes flirt? ¡Starts with prowl scan ¢Lots of mutual eye gazing before approach ¡Female assumes a demure posture ¢Head tilted down

4/11/18

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� Most ape coupling behavior is similar to our own