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8/3/2019 Villa Mia Keith
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5LOADINGLOADINGLOADINGLOADINGLOADING
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LAWSYouve Brokenwithout
Realizing itEVEN
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Connecting to#6
UNSECURED
NETWORKS
Say hello to the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, which makes it a crime
to gain "unauthorized access" to a computer or a website. What does
"unauthorized access" actually mean? Nobody knows. But the law says
it applies to wireless routers. Luckily, law enforcement has lately
become more lenient in enforcing "Wi-Fi squatting" in relation to the
CFAA. So they probably won't bust you for thefederal crime of stealing
wireless Internet (even though they totally could, if they some day feellike it), but it doesn't matter, because that's where your state's laws kick
in.
Almost every state out there has regulations against unlawful access tocomputers and networks -- athird-degree felony that carries with it a
prison sentence of at least two years and up to 10 grand in fines. Yes,
arrests for stealing Wi-Fi are rare because it's difficult to catch someone
in the act. But don't go thinking that your Internet habits definitely
won't get you shanked in the prison courtyard someday. We know of atleast four cases, from Florida, Illinois, Michigan and Alaska, where
people were arrested for using someone else's wireless Internet.
BUT WHY?
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Singing
in Public
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
#5
It's copyrighted. Usually that would only affect people who are singing
it while attempting to make a profit (the lady your dad hired to jump
out of your birthday cake, for instance). However, the American
Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) requestedthat the Girl Scouts pay royalties for "Happy Birthday to You," and
other songs they'd been singing around the campfire without a single
stripper, or paying customer in attendance.
Presumably thinking that this was a prank by the girls from the camp
across the lake, the Girl Scouts consulted an attorney who found that
the law applied to any "public performance." Going by the strict letterof the law, you have to pay anytime you sing the song "where a
substantial number of persons outside of a normal circle of a family
and its social acquaintances is gathered."
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In 2010, Matthew Lacroix, a Rhode Island prison guard, was arrestedfor creating a fake profile of his boss on Facebook. Now, to be clear,
it wasn't to proclaim his boss' love for Stargate fan fiction or to
commit some kind of fraud. The profile just ... existed, so in the end,
Lacroix was convicted simply of using "fraudulent information" (i.e. a
fake name) and had to pay $500 to the Victims Indemnity Fund. A
similar thing happened with Lori Drew, a 50-year-old woman who
harassed a teenage girl over Myspace until she committed suicide
(OK, maybe not THAT similar). It was back when cyber-bullying laws
weren't in full effect, so Drew was charged with a misdemeanor
under the CFAA regulations for creating a fake Myspace profile.
Using
INTERNET
Fake Nameson the
#4
Due to the that line that makes any "unauthorized access"
illegal, it can be anything from illegally accessing the White
House's website and exploding the president's toilet
(computers can do that, right?) to using a false name during
an online registration process. After all, in both cases you're
gaining access to a computer in a way that its owner didn't
authorize, which constitutes "hacking" and is, according to
the letter of the law, punishable with five to 20 years in
prison.
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$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
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$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
Betting
#3WITH
You see, all those bets you made violated
the Illegal Gambling Act of 1970. According to
the IGA, any betting that goes against state or
local law, involves five or more people and has
a revenue of at least $2,000 in one day
constitutes an illegal gambling operation,punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
And that SWAT team/bar wager scenario we
described above? That really happened. The
guy's name was Sal Culosi, and in 2005 he was
overheard in a bar by a Virginia cop betting
with his friends on college football to the tune
of like $50. The cop befriended Culosi, and over
the course of a couple of months led him to
raise the stakes until one day Culosi crossed the
magical border of $2,000.
FRIENDS
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In 2007, a Chicago high school student
named Allen Lee was arrested for disorderly
conduct over a class writing assignment
involving stream of consciousness where the
students were supposed to write whatever
came to their minds. Instead of page after
page filled with "boobs" and "weed," Leeended up with an unsurprisingly nonsensical
jumble of words and phrases, including
"Super Mario," "ballet" and four instances of
"stab." After reading his assignment, Lee's
teacher turned it in to the school officials,
who collectively decided that they must
expel the straight-A student and have him
arrested. You know, before he goes on
a writing spree.
Writing#2 DISTURBING MATERIALS
Some state laws actually make it illegal to
write about things that can freak other
people out. Illinois, for example, has
regulations against "disorderly conduct,"
which usually means stuff like prank
calling 911, but can also apply to writing"disturbing fiction."
No, it doesn't even matter whether you
make it public or not. If someone reads
something you wrote and finds it
reprehensibly soul-poisoning, you may
face 30 days of jail time and a $1,500 fine.
But what
did I do?
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But That Will Never Happen to Me, Right?
Right now, these parole violations (aka "owning stuff") can make it illegal
for Gheorghiu to possess even a ballpoint pen. But OK, the guy was on
parole, so as long as you don't get arrested for vandalism or graffiti, carrying
markers shouldn't be a problem, right?
Not exactly. Just take a look at the case of the 13-year-old from Oklahomawho was taken into custody by the police for allegedly writing on his desk,
which violated an Oklahoma City ordinance against the possession of
permanent markers.
Actually, it was about the permanent markers. According to basically every
anti-graffiti state law out there, it is illegal simply to possess "broad-tipped
indelible markers" or "aerosol cans" in a public place, because they can be
used to commit acts of vandalism. You can find such regulations all over the
United States, from Florida to New York to California, which also make it a
crime to buy permanent markers for anyone under 18. California,remember, is a state where it is legal to buy weed if you have a doctor's
note.
On the one hand, it's kindof understandable, seeing as in California alone
the removal of graffiti costs millions of dollars each year. On the other hand,
it also means you theoretically can spend up to a year in prison for holding
outdoor arts and crafts classes for homeless orphans, and it technically
makes any art school guilty of possessing contraband.
OwningA Permanent
Marker#1CLICK!
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