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The graphs below provide information on global population figures

and figures for urban populations in different world regions.

The line graph illustrates the increase in global population from 1800 to 2100,

while the bar chart predicts the number of people who live in cities in

developed and less developed regions.

Overall, there is an upward trend of the number of world population. The

urban population in developing regions is expected to increase substantially,

while that of developed region is predicted to keep stable.

Comment [AB1]: In the number of people inworld / in the worlds population.

Comment [AB2]: You need to say when here

between 1800 and now.

Comment [AB3]: Again you should say : -between 2015 and 2040.

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In 1800, there were 1000 million people in the world, and the worldwide

population witnessed a gradual growth to 2000 million by 1920. After that, a

rapid rise was seen in the size of people around the world, peaking atapproximately 8000 million by the end of 2040, before it is thought to

experience a decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period shown in

the graph.

The urban population in developed regions is expected to stand at about 1300

million, whereas it is expected to see almost a twofold increase in the number

of urban people in developing regions between 2015 and 2040.

IELTS MarkingCriteria

My commentsBand

score

Task Fulfilment Presents a clear position throughout the response. Presents aclear overview of main trends, however, it is unclear at times

which periods of time you are talking about - in your

overview you should specify timer time periods as well aspicking out general trends.

6.0

Cohesion and

CoherenceLogically organises information and ideas; there is clear

progression throughout. Presents a clear central topic

within each paragraph. Uses cohesive devices effectively,

but the lack of time references (years) and in the case ofthis sentence: -, before it is thought to experience a

decline by nearly 2000 million at the end of the period

shown in the graph. the information is about after not

before there is some confusion.

http://library.bcu.ac.uk/learner/writingguides/1.33.htm

6.0

Lexical resource Generally appropriate word choices and some very good

collocation -witness growth; upward trend; increase

substantially.

6.5

Grammatical

Range

and accuracy

Makes some errors in grammar and punctuation but

they rarely reduce communication. However, your

mistakes repeat in the task i.e. the wrong tense andprepositions. The tenses are the problem here you can

use all present simple tense if you want; if you choose to

use past tense, write about specific years, present perfect

needs to be used to talk about past until now and future

tense (will) or (expected to/projected to) for future

trends. You do show control of grammar though with

your longer sentences meaning that you show more a

6.5

Comment [AB4]: Has been seen (until now)Comment [AB5]: Size of population / numbepeople

Comment [AB6]: Which will peak (in the futu

Comment [AB7]: A new sentence and it shoube after; not before.

After this year, numbers are projected/ will

experience a decline of 2000 million ..

(experience a .. of )

Comment [AB8]: developing

Comment [AB9]: Your meaning here is in thefuture but you mean in the past until now -

The urban population in developing regions has

steadily stoodat 1300, whereas developed

countries is expected to see almost.

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grammar capability of a 7.0.

Overall score : 6.0 /6.5 because there are issues with tenses and lack of detail (about

years) sometimes it is difficult to follow your description of the data.

Some useful information

There has been an increaseinthe number of people aged over thirty. [correct]

There has been an increase ofthe number of people aged over thirty. [incorrect]

Between 1990 and 2000, there was a drop 15%. [incorrect]Between 1990 and 2000, there was a

drop of15%. [correct]

We use a noundescribing a specific trend or change + in+ a word phrasedescribing the thing which

has changed:

* a(n) cut/ decline/ decrease/ drop/ fall/ increase/ reduction/ rise, etc. insomething

There have been dramatic cuts inthe level of spending on the elderly.

The chart shows a decline inthe bird pouplation.

* a(n)change/ growth/improvement/ trend/ variation, etc. insomethingThere have been significant improvements inhealth care.

We have seen massive changes inpeople's lifestyles.

We use a noundescribing a change or the result of a change + of+ a number showing the size of the

change:

* a(n) decrease/ drop/fall/ increase/ reduction/ rise, etc. of+ number

The statistics show a reduction of 20% inenergy costs as a result of the government's new measures.

The radio station experienced afall of 36,000listeners to a total audience of 2.1 million.

* a high/ low/ maximum/total/ peak, etc. +of + number

Demand reached apeak of 45,000in early March.